Tuesday, May 24, 2011

The Black Hole

So many things are going on. All the time I am running from either school to work or work to work and although I realize that in retrospect that my life is much less difficult than others and I should count my lucky stars I also am frustrated with the current standing of where I am.
Over the past three years I have invested a lot of my time into work and I have nothing to show for it.
I mean I didn't go and blow all of the money I have ever made at the mall. Its sitting in my bank account and although thats not bad, it doesn't make me happy. Money enslaves and I want freedom. The ironic thing is that freedom is costly so the vicious cycle begins again. 
Three years ago I could tell you I would not envision my life being like this. I thought I'd be a regular normal girl graduating high school to attend a good college, find a husband have a job and then pop a few kids out. Normal life. Comfortable. And now when I try to think ahead I see nothing, I see a black hole.
Ive been feeling a bit bitter about my situation over the past month or two (When I say "a bit" I mean VERY). And although nothing new has happened my pessimism has risen over the past week and I'm starting to feel a dread for the times to come. And I still do, but a friend of mine pointed out to me something that I will hold onto for the rest of my life. The fact that not everyones normal is your normal. It clicked. I am not everyone else. 
This is a rocky and unsure time in my life when I think about everything that may or may not happen for me I need to stop comparing my situations to society's 'normalcy'. And lets face it, I'm not normal.
Although that was some of the most basic advice that anyone has given me it has brought me to a realization that striving to fit the mold isn't always the best option. So work with what you have, be willing to take the risk, and to do something and regret is better than doing nothing at all. 
Forever Chic,
Amber

5 comments:

  1. You are so young still and you have your whole life in front of you so you just have to figure out what truly makes you happy ! I think everyone of us has a destiny which is not necessarily a comfortable life with husband and kids, the most important thing is being as happy as we can ! I wish you the best and I also wanted to let you know I like your blog and how you express your feelings ! I am following you and hope you'll be in touch and follow back ! Kisses

    http://fashionandcookies.blogspot.com

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  2. We all have those "how did I end up like this" moments sweetie. Set realistic and "in your control" goals for now like I want to go to Paris next summer or in 2 years I want to buy a new car. Things like marriage and children will happen when the time is right and most of the time you find that special someone by accident, when you aren't looking or by chance. Life is full of surprises. I would never think that my life would have ended up how it did but you know what.. I couldn't be happier. My grandma always tells me to concentrate on the good things. Harping on the bad things will only bring you unnecessary grief. You are alive, in good health, smart and beautiful so you have a lot to be thankful for. Money does not bring happiness. Happiness is a state of mind not a circumstance. Thank you for your sweet comment. Thank you for sharing some of YOU with us. Now following. Kiah

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  3. I have been feeling like this too recently, at my age my parents were married and had me and had a home that they were buying.... I can't see myself having this until at least my early thirties. However I am starting to accept that we live in a different time and that I can't control the house prices ha ha :) To try and combat this feeling I have made like a bucket list of things to do in the next couple of years... this is really helping to get that feeling of achievement :)

    Love, vanilla

    http://notesfrommycloset.blogspot.com/

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  4. thanks everyone, its all very encouraging to have fellow bloggers share their insight & thank you for visiting my blog!
    Forever Chic,
    Amber

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  5. Too early to have a clear plan in front of you. Your black hole is just a limbo, maybe. Things will run so fast and things will change so quickly... Just wait and do your best in the meanwhile...focus on what you like and be curious...wait...you'll be surprised...
    Thank you for visiting.
    Have a nice day!

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sweet you read my post & your leaving a comment?! you made my day & ill be visiting your page soon