So many things are going on. All the time I am running from either school to work or work to work and although I realize that in retrospect that my life is much less difficult than others and I should count my lucky stars I also am frustrated with the current standing of where I am.
Over the past three years I have invested a lot of my time into work and I have nothing to show for it.
I mean I didn't go and blow all of the money I have ever made at the mall. Its sitting in my bank account and although thats not bad, it doesn't make me happy. Money enslaves and I want freedom. The ironic thing is that freedom is costly so the vicious cycle begins again.
Three years ago I could tell you I would not envision my life being like this. I thought I'd be a regular normal girl graduating high school to attend a good college, find a husband have a job and then pop a few kids out. Normal life. Comfortable. And now when I try to think ahead I see nothing, I see a black hole.
Ive been feeling a bit bitter about my situation over the past month or two (When I say "a bit" I mean VERY). And although nothing new has happened my pessimism has risen over the past week and I'm starting to feel a dread for the times to come. And I still do, but a friend of mine pointed out to me something that I will hold onto for the rest of my life. The fact that not everyones normal is your normal. It clicked. I am not everyone else.
This is a rocky and unsure time in my life when I think about everything that may or may not happen for me I need to stop comparing my situations to society's 'normalcy'. And lets face it, I'm not normal.
Although that was some of the most basic advice that anyone has given me it has brought me to a realization that striving to fit the mold isn't always the best option. So work with what you have, be willing to take the risk, and to do something and regret is better than doing nothing at all.